Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

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Posts by Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

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  8

  FSM: Austrian authorities accept colander as religious headgear

  by J. Hofer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://translate.google.at/translate?js=n&prev=_t&hl=de&ie=utf-8&layout=2&eotf=1&sl=de&tl=en&u=http%3a%2f%2fderstandard.at%2f1308681039222%2foesterreichs-behoerden-nudelsieb-als-religioese-kopfbedeckung-in-fuehrerschein-genehmigt.

  this is google-translated from german.... a "pastafarian" insisted in having his license picture shot with a colander on his head.

  it's allowed (for muslims for example) to have ones head covered for legal documents if it is a religious practise.

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  Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

  Oh noodly one
  with big meaty balls
  we praise your holy name!
  With colanders
  upon our heads
  we'll all go down in flames!
  
  Ay MEN
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  6

  Human Ancestor Older Than Previously Thought; Finding Offers New Insights Into Evolution

  by whereami in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  human ancestor older than previously thought; finding offers new insights into evolution .

  http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/06/110629181853.htm?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=feed%3a+sciencedaily+%28sciencedaily%3a+latest+science+news%29.

  sciencedaily (june 30, 2011) modern humans never co-existed with homo erectus -- a finding counter to previous hypotheses of human evolution -- new excavations in indonesia and dating analyses show.

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  Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

  Homo Erectus versus Homo Flaccidicus. New scientifical evidunce PROVES that man did NOT descend from the common housecat as previously believed by several closet-alcoholics at Bethel. Rather, 9 out of 10 doctors surveyed recommended Homo Erectus for their patients who chew gum.
  Homo Flaccidicus is recommended for all menopausal or post-menopausla human females who can trace their family tree all the way back to the Appalachian Mountains. This is a fact. Now go forth and repeat it. THATS AN ODOR!
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  19

  Please don't send me a link to the new elder's manual

  by EntirelyPossible in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  we shouldn't post them here because of legal reason, so whatever anyone does, please don't even think of sending an email with a link at [email protected].

  that would be unethical and it shouldn't happen.

  i hope i have been very clear in that i do not want the link, and certainly not at my personal email address of [email protected].

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  Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

  I DONT WANT ONE EITHER! dOnT aNyOnE dAre SeNd Me A lInK aT bArKoRaMa AT aol DOT com !!!
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  122

  This convention blows

  by Anony Mous in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  seriously, half day in (already had an argument with the wife this morning about individuality in the organization in which she conceded that a lot of it is based on looks) and this is already getting on my nerves.

  i'll post a rebuttal based on my annotations later in the week but one thing i got to get off my mind: saying the feminist movement (women going to work instead of staying home) and the diversity laws (allowing for homosexuality - but also religious freedom, racial discrimination etc.

  ) caused a lot of the problems in our world right from the stage.. there are less people here than last year - about 500 less..

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  Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

  A BORING CONVENTION? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
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  14

  If JW's had not claimed to have the truth

  by FlyingHighNow in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  have you ever thought about your perceptions of the wtbts, how they would have differed had they not been spouting, "we have the truth!

  " every other sentence?

  if they had never said, "are you 'in the truth?'.

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  Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

  No I am not a Muslim. That's why I picked a Muslim name. Makes perfect sense if you don't think about it.

  MIJ
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  14

  If JW's had not claimed to have the truth

  by FlyingHighNow in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  have you ever thought about your perceptions of the wtbts, how they would have differed had they not been spouting, "we have the truth!

  " every other sentence?

  if they had never said, "are you 'in the truth?'.

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  Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

  I would not have been impressed. Truthfully (pun intended), I was not terribly impressed anyway. The meetings were boring and the music came from a record player playing scratched records. No one could sing to save their lives. The NWT read like it was made of wood (Hm. It actually is, since paper is made of wood pulp) The only saving grace was theocratic ministry school. I loved the attention AND believe it or not the instruction and practice in public speaking came in handy in my real life. Oh and going door to door was often a hoot with compleat idiots coming to the door.
  I loved debating with other religious people, and that sharpened my mind. I hated the personal threats I received in the mail from Bethel members though. Just because I would send Bethelites packages with noisy alarm clocks in them (TICK TICK TICK) does NOT give them the right to have me arrested for malicious mischief!
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  41

  Oh no, someone's dissed us to the FBI !!

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. humour

  dear sir,.

  a complaint has been registered against you with the federal authorities in the usa.. the complaints center on slander and character assassination emanating from members posting on your jehovah's witnesses network forum, and online stalking.

  all details have now gone to the fbi on federal plaza in new york for their immediate attention.. ([email protected]).

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  Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

  MAY ALLAH HAVE MERCY ON US ALL! WE ARE DOOMED TO DIE! Wait a second...we were going to die anyway. Eh.
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  20

  the trinity

  by dogisgod in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yes they do have a trinity.

  jah, jesus, and that group of guys in new york.

  .

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  Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

  This whole discussion is farticulous and bobbelschmucked. Trinity is a fictitious western antihero from the 1970's. They Call Me Trinity, Trinity Is Still My Name. Jog your memory:
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u70GP8K_DO8
  
  An excellent laugh, and more amazing when you realise this actor really was that quick.
  
  MIY
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  23

  Is this weird? JW FB comments

  by serenitynow! in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  paradise-related greetings and meetup plans.

  on a couple of jw fb sites, people often say things like "i'll see you in paradise," or "i'm going to travel and meet all of you guys in paradise and hang out with your lions.

  " and on the jw news, library, etc.

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  Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

  I have read quite a few posts here. So, I realize that most--seem anyway--to be agnostics and atheists. With a significant sprinkling of conservative Bible believers, and Far Eastern folks. A good mix.

  You make a fascinating point by asking how many airplane mechanics or auto mechanics or any sort of skilled labor or professionals will be found in the earthly "paradise." Unless Jehovah Jireh ben Nissi comes forth from the Throne and gives everyone magical knowledge and supernatural abilities, "paradise" is going to consist of hunkering in cold wet ruins in the dark, eating rats and pigeons and wearing rags. I thought through some of these matters when I was a JW, and realized it would take Divine intervention of a major sort to rescue the mediocre world of witnesses from their fearsome mediocrity.
  
  However, I came away with some appreciable truths of Faith from the Tower of Bible: The Oneness of God, the First Piller of Islam. No trinity, no deity of Jesus (pbuh). We sleep at death, awaiting resurrection. I have been Muslim for a relatively short time, and I assure you that all 1.6 billion of us are terrorists with a Master Plan to take over America and enforce Sharia Law.
  
  Not.
  
  I am saddened when I realize that the Tower of Lies has fallen upon and crushed even the capacity to have faith, of so many of those who make their escape or are given their walking orders. Faith is a fragile thing, difficult to maintain. I hope those of you who have had their faith destroyed are able to find a fresh supply.
  
  Salaam,
  
  MIY

  LOVE the photo by the way!!!
  
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  34

  MS shuns Witness parents

  by EmptyInside in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just wanted your thoughts on this situation.

  there was a young boy from my former congregatioin,he was about 5 years younger than me.. and his parents were overly strict with him.

  but,i think the combination of being witnesses plus being raised the old-fashioned,southern way themselves was a bad combo for their son.. anyway,he got a lot of beatings at the meetings.

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  Muhammad Ibn Yusuf

  Beatings in the meeting
  they aren't just for show!
  Beatings in the meetings
  aren't for any old joe!
  
  The young ones abhor them
  the teenagers too!
  But Jehovah God Jireh
  thinks adults need them too!
  
  Beatings in the meetings
  you know they're da bomb!
  Beatings in the meetings
  here's one for your mom!
  
  Give 'em hell Harry
  or maybe Sheol!
  Or was it a Nephesh?
  I really don't know!
  
  Beatings in the meetings
  they show you've got class!
  Beatings in the meetings
  help to toughen your ***!